PLEASE LEAVE THE TOMBSTONES

Author Tammy Lynn Tipler-Priolo 19 September 2009

It was recently brought to my attention that the push on for environmentally friendly green spaces has found its way to the graveyard.  The suggestion is to do away with tombstones completely.  Don’t get me wrong, I do try to follow my native roots by being environmentally attentive to mother earth.  In fact, I was involved in recycling as a kid way before recycling was a word; I guess I am dating myself now.  Anyway, the question arose in an article I read as to whether you would like to be surrounded by tombstones or meadows with birds and butterflies once you have departed this earth.  As a genealogist, I really don’t want to see tombstones taken away, as these small and sometimes not so small markers of our passing do provide evidence of our existence.  I like the idea that I can visit with my grandparents and all my ancestors for that matter, on any given day in the tranquil environment of a cemetery; ah and yes I have see the birds and butterflies enjoying the same tranquility in the graveyard as I have. 

Tombstones have a place in our society and without them, the memories of our ancestors will fade as each new generation appears and the older ones leave this earthly realm.  I have a client who has been searching for years to find her grandfather’s resting place.  We have checked all possible places he has ever lived or visited and have come up with more questions then answers and no tombstone.  It is rather sad as this man will be forgotten by future generations in no time.  The wonderful thing about tombstones for this particular client is the fact that we were able to find part of her family in Ireland all buried in the same plot.  All sorts of information on the family was gleaned from the stone, including the listing of all of their names and how each was related to the others.  This information could have been listed elsewhere in the records; however, we would never have known what records to look for if we had not found this tombstone.  Further, we were able to find the client’s great grandparents burial site in California because of the tombstone that showed a daughter buried with her parents.  Such family finds are true treasures that need to be a part of our family histories.

With all the privacy issues and laws being created by our so-called well-intentioned governments, we are going to wipe out our history in no time.  Records will be locked up so tight or worse destroyed; so much for prevention of history repeating itself.  We will have no history to draw upon to learn from our historical mistakes.  We will have no identity left as our history is locked away from us forever.  One solace in all this is that we would have our graveyards and cemeteries left to remember the past.  If we take away the humble piece of granite or marble that has been artfully crafted into hard cold evidence of our existence on earth, then our history will be wiped away completely. 

I for one stand behind the keeping of tombstones as reminders of who we have been, who we are today and who we are to become; leave no stone unturned and leave all tombstones standing is my genealogical motto.  Stone beings hold the history of time within them according to native beliefs.  If I find an ancestor’s resting place, I will make all efforts to have a stone placed at the head of the grave.  If a stone is damaged, I will make every effort to have it repaired.  It is comforting to know that I have reawakened my family history in this way.  Finally, if the time comes when tombstones are to be no more, I will rally to keep them in their place of honour.  Preservation of these stones will always be an important part of history that should never be disturbed; let the butterflies and birds alight on them in all their beauty and song. 

Happy Hunting!!

“MAY ALL YOUR GENEALOGICAL DREAMS COME TRUE!!!”

Tammy Tipler-Priolo BASc, PLCGS

The Ancestor Investigator is also the Ancestor Whisperer!

PLCGS=Professional Learning Certificate in Genealogical Studies-National Institute for Genealogical Studies in Partnership with the Faculty of Independent Studies University of Toronto

AN ANCESTOR’S AGE IS RELEVANT

Author Tammy Lynn Tipler-Priolo Ó 8 December 2009

One of the most informative things I can find out about someone is how he or she feels about his or her age.  I was blessed with good genetics and because of this good fortune, many people believe I am much younger than I am; staying out of direct sunlight all my life has helped as well.  When I was in my 20s I was always asked to prove age of majority and in my 30s I was not taken seriously.  When I turned 40 things started to change as people older then myself thought I was in my 30s and they were willing to consult with me more on important matters.  I am proud to reveal my age of 47 years and I have never kept my age a secret. 

More women then men seem to want to hide their age.  I was raised never to ask someone older then myself how old they are, as this was considered rude.  As a child I thought what is the big deal anyway as growing up was so exciting.  Look at all the wonderful things adults get to do and kids have it hard as they have to listen to their parents.  Most children are in a hurry to be at an age where they can make their own decisions without mom or dad hanging over their shoulders.  Little do they know that even as adults many of us still like our parents hanging around. 

Women for centuries have been telling little white lies about their ages depend on what suits them at the time.  Census records show ages of everyone in the household, which is very helpful when you are trying to find birth or baptismal certificates.  However, when you compare one census to the next for a given household, you may find that a woman’s age does not match up mathematically.  Her age could be off as much as ten years.  Now this could be explained by the fact that the enumerator got it wrong or that a child or neighbour who is not too familiar with the woman’s age supplied the wrong information, however there are plain and simple cases where the woman stated that she was older to get a pension sooner or that she was younger for vanity reasons.  Beware that the 1841 census for England rounded ages up or down by five-year intervals.  Thus a person who was 16 years would likely be marked down as 20 years.  If you are unsure of any person’s age mentioned on a census, look for other records such as a birth or baptismal/christening record, as it is hardly likely the newborn could lie about his or her age. 

Knowing someone’s age can be very helpful in locating family records.  Tombstones are a good place to look.  Most mention year of death and with a simple calculation a rough birth date can be calculated if you have the person’s age at death.  This age can be either listed on the tombstone or on a death certificate if available.  Beware of such calculations though, as computing days and months to get an exact date of birth can be tricky if the person’s age is not provided down to the number of days they are as well.  Other records that record a person’s age are marriage records, wills, passenger’s lists, social security records, military records, bibles, funeral cards, birthday cards just to name a few.  Another thing to watch for is a record that mentions a person’s age as major, majority, consenting age or full age.  This age can mean 16 years for boys and 14 years for girls in some countries and timeframes but mean 21 years for both sexes in other countries.  In Canada 18 years is consenting and 21 in the USA.  Our job as genealogists, professional or amateur, is to ferret out the most likely age of the person that will lead to the closest birth date possible.  Do you know how old your ancestors really were?

Happy Hunting!!

“MAY ALL YOUR GENEALOGICAL DREAMS COME TRUE!!!”

Tammy Tipler-Priolo BASc, PLCGS

The Ancestor Investigator is also the Ancestor Whisperer!

A PLACE OF HAPPINESS & SADNESS

Author Tammy Lynn Tipler-Priolo  24 January 2009

There are threats to close such places.  The community cries out to stop it.  For these places belong to the people in times of happiness and sadness.  With the changing times, many of these places are without full occupancy.  These buildings hold the histories of a whole community and are a place of gathering people together for worship and prayer.  Where does the history go when these structures are lost to fire, flood, vandalism, closure and destruction?  Has the history been preserved elsewhere in the minds of our elders, or the resting places of our ancestors or better yet has it been housed in other structures like libraries and archives; let us hope so. 

Drive through any city and you will see the buildings that are the cornerstones the city was founded on.  Some are quite majestic with intricate masonry work, while others are rather simple and plain but are recognized just the same.  However, if you drive through a tiny village you may only find the remnants of such a building that has been lost to fire or closure.  Still other villages are only visible because of such a building.  I have seen it all.  Where would our history be without the local churches?  They were not built with genealogists in mind, but we sure do admire and appreciate what is housed inside them, a lifetime of a community's history. 

Many happy occasions of marital celebration have been documented in churches.  Marriage records abound in all sorts of denominations, Catholic, Protestant, Lutheran, Quaker and the list can unfold before you as you locate the religion your ancestors were.  Baptismals or Christenings were great events to celebrate in a community, as the newest members were welcomed into the fold.  Mothers, fathers and babies all named on these records makes for a goldmine of family historical discoveries.  Other happy occasions would be celebrated and documented within the walls of these churches, such as confirmations, first communions, etc.  Of course, many regular events could have been recorded in the church minutes of various meetings revealing the existence and involvement of one’s ancestors. 

The sad occasions would be recorded as well, such as the death of a member or the loss of members as they had to move on to a different community for various reasons.  Scandalous events could have been recorded as well, where one would find unwed mothers, annulments and sinful ways.  Still all part of the community’s history documented for generations to come.  Events that tell the story of the daily lives of the ones that came before us. 

If we are lucky enough to find our ancestors’ religious denomination from family members, census records or other such records like funeral records or tombstones, we may have the chance to locate the very church they spent their lives in for every day living, celebration and sorrow.  If the church is located with family records intact, we can send prayers of thanks for the treasure within those walls.  If not, we can only hope that someone is able to direct us to the appropriate repository where those very records can be found or at the very least give us abstracted information collected from those records lost to natural and human forces beyond our control. 

Happy Hunting!!

“MAY ALL YOUR GENEALOGICAL DREAMS COME TRUE!!!”

Tammy Tipler-Priolo BASc, PLCGS

The Ancestor Investigator is also the Ancestor Whisperer!