PLEASE LEAVE THE TOMBSTONES

Author Tammy Lynn Tipler-Priolo 19 September 2009

It was recently brought to my attention that the push on for environmentally friendly green spaces has found its way to the graveyard.  The suggestion is to do away with tombstones completely.  Don’t get me wrong, I do try to follow my native roots by being environmentally attentive to mother earth.  In fact, I was involved in recycling as a kid way before recycling was a word; I guess I am dating myself now.  Anyway, the question arose in an article I read as to whether you would like to be surrounded by tombstones or meadows with birds and butterflies once you have departed this earth.  As a genealogist, I really don’t want to see tombstones taken away, as these small and sometimes not so small markers of our passing do provide evidence of our existence.  I like the idea that I can visit with my grandparents and all my ancestors for that matter, on any given day in the tranquil environment of a cemetery; ah and yes I have see the birds and butterflies enjoying the same tranquility in the graveyard as I have. 

Tombstones have a place in our society and without them, the memories of our ancestors will fade as each new generation appears and the older ones leave this earthly realm.  I have a client who has been searching for years to find her grandfather’s resting place.  We have checked all possible places he has ever lived or visited and have come up with more questions then answers and no tombstone.  It is rather sad as this man will be forgotten by future generations in no time.  The wonderful thing about tombstones for this particular client is the fact that we were able to find part of her family in Ireland all buried in the same plot.  All sorts of information on the family was gleaned from the stone, including the listing of all of their names and how each was related to the others.  This information could have been listed elsewhere in the records; however, we would never have known what records to look for if we had not found this tombstone.  Further, we were able to find the client’s great grandparents burial site in California because of the tombstone that showed a daughter buried with her parents.  Such family finds are true treasures that need to be a part of our family histories.

With all the privacy issues and laws being created by our so-called well-intentioned governments, we are going to wipe out our history in no time.  Records will be locked up so tight or worse destroyed; so much for prevention of history repeating itself.  We will have no history to draw upon to learn from our historical mistakes.  We will have no identity left as our history is locked away from us forever.  One solace in all this is that we would have our graveyards and cemeteries left to remember the past.  If we take away the humble piece of granite or marble that has been artfully crafted into hard cold evidence of our existence on earth, then our history will be wiped away completely. 

I for one stand behind the keeping of tombstones as reminders of who we have been, who we are today and who we are to become; leave no stone unturned and leave all tombstones standing is my genealogical motto.  Stone beings hold the history of time within them according to native beliefs.  If I find an ancestor’s resting place, I will make all efforts to have a stone placed at the head of the grave.  If a stone is damaged, I will make every effort to have it repaired.  It is comforting to know that I have reawakened my family history in this way.  Finally, if the time comes when tombstones are to be no more, I will rally to keep them in their place of honour.  Preservation of these stones will always be an important part of history that should never be disturbed; let the butterflies and birds alight on them in all their beauty and song. 

Happy Hunting!!

“MAY ALL YOUR GENEALOGICAL DREAMS COME TRUE!!!”

Tammy Tipler-Priolo BASc, PLCGS

The Ancestor Investigator is also the Ancestor Whisperer!

PLCGS=Professional Learning Certificate in Genealogical Studies-National Institute for Genealogical Studies in Partnership with the Faculty of Independent Studies University of Toronto